Sigh

I feel really depressed. Things just don't seem to be going my way. Ever since we got a new BG things have been crappy for me. The guy treats me like shit. I don't have anywhere near the same flexibility I used to have, everything has to be done his way. Any variation from what he wants and I receive a barrage of verbal abuse. I’ve never felt so underappreciated in my entire life. Leave it to someone that should have been kicked-out for being overweight and not getting promoted in the last whom-knows-how-many-years to really make you feel like shit. All of my morale and confidence is destroyed. I don’t even want to be at work right now. I want to go home, get in bed, and cry. The last time I felt like this was five years ago. At that point, someone looked at me and said hi, and I cried my eyes out. I was 18 then, but it was still an embarrassing situation.

I’ll be 23 this year, where do the years go?

Once again I had an inbox full of Christian/Catholic oriented mail. I really wonder when my family is going to understand that I don’t believe in the Christian god? I’ve been following Wicca for about 10 years now and they just don’t get it. Sometimes I get this twang of guilt, something that makes me wish I could believe like they do, but there are too many holes in the bible and too many things that don’t make sense.

The 21st was Ostara (Spring Equinox). I didn’t do anything. That could be part of my depression. Beltain is coming up soon. I can’t wait, because we’ll do Beltain in the Park. I love when we get together in an open space and practice in public. It’s about time we showed off a little to the Christians; let them know they can’t push us in to “the broom closet” anymore.